You never know who you’re going to meet on Facebook. If you’re lucky (and you’re one of those who haven’t yet left Facebook for other social media sites), you might meet a writer like Elisa Beth Magagna (aka EC Stilson). I don’t recall when exactly I first started reading her postings—short vignettes about her life with cancer—but reading them has become a daily ritual now. Her writing, and the way she is able to keep her illness in perspective, sometimes struggling to do so, is the kind of writing that inspires her readers to reflect on the meaning of life, the beauty of each moment, and the amazing healing power of love within a family.
The thing about Elisa is that even though she has stage four melanoma, she writes about cancer with an eye toward how to keep living, not about dying. She writes about her loving husband, her kids, her writing life, the people she meets in hospitals and in doctors’ offices. And you know what? She sees them. She listens closely to them tell their stories, and she tells them hers. And then she shares the experience with her readers so that we, too, feel like we’re part of her life, and part of the discoveries that she keeps making day after day.
Here’s an example:
Remember how a writing “friend” said they wished I’d done more with my life? As ridiculous as I’ve come to view this statement—because it’s a prideful thing to say—it did make me wonder: What gives my life meaning in MY eyes?Over the next several weeks, I plan to think of five moments when I really felt of value—and to write about them in my diary. I’m hoping this exercise will display (for me) what I think is truly important. Success—like beauty—is in the eye of the beholder. Yet, I wonder if value is the same for most; maybe it boils down to giving and receiving love? Or is value different for each person with concepts that can be sorted into different buckets?!If you were to think of moments when you felt of the most value, I wonder which types of experiences YOU would choose?Anyway, I’m done being sad about my new tumor. Now, I’m just excited to continue on this journey called life.
And this example from a recent conversation she had with another patient while waiting for treatment:
A woman seated across the waiting room piped in, out of no where, “They took a survey and most Americans said if they can’t die in their sleep, they’d like to die of cancer.”
The man and I broke out laughing. THAT was hysterical. “Those people have NO IDEA what cancer is like,” he said, and the woman turned red.
In a strange way, I’d begun to like this curmudgeon.
“I think people just don’t understand,” I said to her soothingly, then turned back to the man. “There’s always something to be grateful for though. Always.”
“Well, if you’re so d*mn smart. You tell ME, what I should be happy about?!”
“Well…you…clearly haven’t lost your ability to really get passionate about something!”
The woman right next to him let out a laugh then immediately cleared her throat.
These excerpts from her daily postings on Facebook may seem like mundane observations. But what makes them s0 moving, I suspect, is how they reveal the way Elisa manages to find the essence of life in the face of her life-threatening illness.
Elisa writes about the kindness of strangers, the love that a mother feels for her children, the way her husband can brighten her mood and pull her out of the doldrums, the way the world can look brighter on some days, darker on others, the way cancer can suck the life out of you (and the joy out of life) if you give it power over you, which, amazingly, Elisa refuses to do.
Sometimes, Elisa seems to be saying: Pay attention! The miracle of life can be found in the mundane!
I guess part of what keeps me reading is needing to know how Elisa manages to sustain such hope and faith in life and in life’s goodness. But I suspect I want to read more of her work not just to see if she can sustain her optimism despite the hand she’s been dealt, but because she's good company and it's a pleasure to spend time reading what she writes.
In some magical way her experiences become transformed into my experiences in much the way all good literature works. Her struggles become my struggles. Her love of life inspires me to love life, too. Each day I read her postings to offer support but also to feel lifted by her spirit, which seems to rise higher and higher with each challenge and obstacle that she has to face.
Soon, though, you may not need to go to Facebook to read her stories. In the mysterious way that words find their way into the world, her words have found a publisher who is planning to publish her stories about living with cancer as a book. I don’t have any more details, but if you happen to be on Facebook and want to read what Elisa is sharing, you can find her here: Elisa Beth Magagna
As I was saying, you never know who you’re going to meet on Facebook. If you’re lucky, you might meet a writer like Elisa.
She's the kind of person whose writing can change your whole perspective on life.
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